So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
