I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
