I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize