help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
