at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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