my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
