My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
not ubering you a puppy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize