I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
