you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
