You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
