Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
