everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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