i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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