I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
