Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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