WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i need some magic done to my vagina
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize