Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
