no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
