At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You took a bar mat shot.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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