I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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