then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
