ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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