so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
