Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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