so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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