People in love make me want to vomit
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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