nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
3 2 1 whiskey
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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