All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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