You're my little dorito
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you still have your period?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
