your room smells of hookers.
And success
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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