One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
