I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
