i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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