I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
