Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ketchup is God's man juice
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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