yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
