I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize