I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He passed out mid-signature
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
