im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
