Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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