a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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