chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Enjoy the penises
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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