I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
