There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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