Well douche your snatch and let's go!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
