Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
