I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
