He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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