I wannas sexs uuuuu
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
