i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
