All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
