Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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