i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize