I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You made out with two different species that night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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