so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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