I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
