Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
