she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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