so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
