got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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