its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
