OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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