Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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