Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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