all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love having hate sex.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
