Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
